Okay, so you know those days where you honestly are just feeling really off? That was yesterday for me. My daughter and I were not getting along and just pushing each other’s buttons. More like she was pushing my buttons so, I pushed hers by getting her in trouble. You know, that whole cycle. I lost my cool early on in the day and felt guilty for yelling. Dustin was on duty and I was on my own. We got into a fight that morning about lying and had to work through time out, yelling, the works. We made it through with some conversation and learning about “unconditional love.” But then she complained about the food I was making and she let the dog run away and we were still clashing. The day continued to be a bit painful and I eventually made the decision to get a babysitter for a couple hours and go out with some friends. I was being the picture of self-care mama and doing what was best for me and my kid. We both needed a little break. She loves having a babysitter and I don’t get one often enough. So the stage is set… We are in my bathroom getting ready for me to go out. She is trying on my shoes and clothes as per usual. I was curling my hair and then she asks for her hair to be curled. So, I curl her hair and then remember we need to go outside and move what we had spraypainted in before it rained. First, it had already rained. But anyway, I made the conscious choice not to get dressed yet and was wearing my underwear and an oversized sweatshirt. Kiddo is wearing bright red tights that are see-through and my metallic hot pink top. We go outside and GUESS WHO LOCKS THE DOOR? You’re right, not me. Not only am I keyless and phoneless but I am also PANTLESS. It is basically pitch black outside now and raining and cold. Thankfully our garage was unlocked so Xena hung out in there while I attempted to break into our house. I tried jimmying the locks and running my shoulder into the door- nothing was working. So with the undying support of my child, I find the crowbar and bust our window open. I really had exhausted most of our options. Now, the babysitter that I hadn’t met yet was going to be arriving in 15 minutes at this point. I am cleaning up tons of shattered glass and trying to get things organized. I had just lost about 45 minutes of planned organizational time, needless to say, I was very frazzled. Also, why is it always the times when our spouses are gone that these things happen?? I get this whole “girls can do anything” mentality but also breaking into my own house and then trying to tape up my window was really not my finest moment. So the babysitter gets here and Coleslaw won’t stop barking at the cats and X is still in see-through red tights. I have just finished taping up my window with dill pickle duct tape. We were a sight… and I thought this poor girl was going to just turn around and leave. She stuck it out through my weird hectic interview and then proceeded to stay and be a great babysitter! I got to go drink some wine and have some laughs so the day didn’t end awful and as usual I missed my girl while I was out.

Why is this feeling of “when it rains it pours” so real? This was my reminder to just slow down and figure out what was happening so things did not spiral out of control. But also it’s okay. It was a bad day, so what? Today was a new day and I still got more love and snugs from X. She was so calm yesterday in the face of this stressful situation and kept telling me that it was going to be okay. I am lucky to have a child who knows how to comfort me when I need it, too! It is so important to me to be honest about my emotions, what I am feeling and why. I think it teaches her how to express her own emotions and realize that feelings are necessary and okay. We then talk about how we work through them. Yesterday was such a good example of this for us. She asked if I was mad at her and I said: “no, I am not mad at you, I am just frustrated with the situation. I didn’t want to break the window and now I don’t want to be cleaning up the mess.” And of course, her picture-perfect response was “even though you’re mad, I still love you. That’s ‘uncondition’ love.” Yeah, talk about she is the cutest thing ever.

So remember to have grace with yourself. Our days sometimes stink. Sometimes we lose our cool as parents or friends. And sometimes that is okay. Coming out of that situation I was proud of how I handled it and proud of my girl. And while she hasn’t been with me for very long I know that a lot of what she has learned and how she reacts is because of Dustin and I. So I am taking a minute to be proud of who I am raising and proud of how I am raising her.

What was the positive that has come out of some of your worst days?